We have been sent the following diet from Sandra Cox who attends our Locking class in Weston-Super-Mare.

Thank you Sandra, we appreciate your humour very much!



Dieting Under Stress

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.



BREAKFAST:                                                                    LUNCH:

1/2 grapefruit                                                                      4oz lean boiled chicken breast

1 slice wholemeal toast                                                     1 cup steamed spinach

3oz skimmed milk                                                              1 cup herbal tea

1 chocolate chip cookie



MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:                                             DINNER:

Rest of cookie's in packet                                                 2 loaves Garlic bread with cheese

2 pints chocolate chip ice cream                                     1 large sausage pizza

1 jar hot fudge sauce with                                                 4 cans or party pack of lager

nuts, cherries and fresh cream                                         3 Snickers or Mars bars





LATE EVENING SNACK

Entire frozen Black Forest Gateau

(eaten directly from freezer)

Rules:

  1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
  2. If you drink a diet coke with a Mars bar, the calories of the Mars bar are cancelled out by the diet coke.
  3. When you eat with someone else, the calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
  4. Food used for medicinal purposes never counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee cheesecake.
  5. If you fatten up everyone around you, you look thinner.
  6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not  part of one's personal fuel, such as milkshakes, buttered popcorn, Murray mints,             bubblegum and Mars bars.
  7. Broken biscuits contain no calories, the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
  8. Food licked off knives and teaspoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something e.g. jam on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon  making a sundae.
  9. Foods of the same colour have the same number of calories e.g. spinach and Pistachio ice cream, mustard and white chocolate



Note:     Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted for any other food colour.



GOOD LUCK!!!

(If anyone believes any of this, they'll need luck, won't they?)
 
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